The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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