Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
