I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
