You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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