im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
