my vag is so smooth its legendary
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just forgot I was standing up.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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