i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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