Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
