Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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