Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
