The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize