So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
