Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
