there's paper in my vomit.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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