You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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