Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize