No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize