too bad you live with your parents still
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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