booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
