Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
