i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
