Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize