What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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