i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
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Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
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Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
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