office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
