you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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