yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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