Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
