You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
