i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
