You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
