Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
