I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
