I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
i now understand why vodka
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
