let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
