Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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