Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
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he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
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I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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