thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
im holly from the hills drunk
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
