Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
