ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
