I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
