Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
