dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
