did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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