I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize