well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
