Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
