I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
