Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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