I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Can I color on your dick again?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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