You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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