what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize