As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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