Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
