i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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