we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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