sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
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Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
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Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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