Michael Bay diarrhea
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
