I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
