the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
