I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
