never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize